Thursday, July 29, 2010

Leah, Daughter, Sister, Friend

I saw this picture and thought that it was my daughter...

I cannot believe how life loves to throw us curve balls and usually it is 3 at a time! Each time the Good Lord always gets us through for a grand slam. But, it takes a lot of skill, focus and education not to get any strikes, or fouls! The first pitch, we have hit and it looks like a base run....the second, so far is a foul off into right field.

People want to blame me, or judge me as "Harsh" or even "abusive" when they don't have the facts, and just want to go on thinking I am such a terrible person. I MUST have made her that way, since I am a person that has been judged unworthy to be member of the inner circle decades ago. Even by friends and their parents, take pity on her and then realize they are patsy's because they are clueless of the facts! They believe what she is saying is true, not aware of the under lying manipulation due to her disorders.
Everything I do, to help her, people have no clue what is going down or what I am doing, and judge my actions by what they want to think is happening. And of course, they KNOW I am a horrible person, and have been nothing but a burden and unwelcome my entire life because of what I did or said. Or is it because I know so many “secrets” that others don’t want me to tell? So, I must be treating the daughter I love so much, with abuse. Gotta make me look bad to others, so others will look at me with discontent and make sure I am unwelcome for any type of explanation, much less any truth as to what I know and can prove to be true. Oh, yeah, lots of back stabbing and lies flying around, so what ever I say or do is not to be believed.

That is the thing about mental ones cares and will think that the person who is ill.....who seems so normal...... CAN control their decisions and know the consequences when in fact they can't.

It is like telling a paraplegic to get up and is a medical impossibility unless there is a treatment that can make them walk. But, they have to STAY on the treatment and receive the therapy for life. Like a Diabetic I. They will ALWAYS need insulin, if they stop...they die.

Even if they do know about her illness, it is something, they do not know much about, or don’t want to know how to deal with it in order to help. To much trouble to deal with it and her.

Or, it gets to the point where it is too expensive because one, you cannot make them take their medicine or get treatment that will help them and two, pay attorneys and courts to grant you the power of guardianship so you can afford to put them in a treatment facility or provide them with the help and treatment she needs.

So, I am left, 3000 miles away from her, because clueless people, who wanted to help her, wanted to save her from all the abuse and hardship she was suffering from because of our actions or because of some other horrible story she made up so she could get out of Dodge, has made it so she is now in the deepest abyss of her life. They talked her into staying and then she ended up being forced to stay, after she was voted off the island.

I am too far away to do anything about it. Or at least keep her in check so it doesn’t get to far out of hand. At least when she was here, she only had money problems. Now, because of people that brought her to where she is now and did not have the "truth" or "resources" she needed to succeed, have pretty much judged her to be unworthy, irresponsible instead of getting her the help she needs. Such as the medications, doctor supervision and monitoring required for her illness. So, she is left alone to make it through when she does not have the ability to do it.

A mentally ill person does not recognize their illness, ever. She cannot determine that she needs help and a lot of times, was unable to get help because of no insurance or money to pay for the proper medications.

It is so easy to let her go and blame her for it, when she does something to hurt you or does something you turn your nose up at her and give you an excuse to not have to care or bother anymore. Something, that is irresponsible and illegal so, that makes her unworthy of your unconditional love and respect to where you are willing to get her the help she needs. Everyone just thinks she is in control and has the ability to determine right from wrong.


This is my daughter. I will always love her unconditionally and always be there to do what I can,( like I have been her WHOLE LIFE), to get the help she needs the best way I was taught by the professionals or educated by with books or other parents with the same problems. And if it does not meet with your approval, then, bugger off.

We are not here to meet your expectations, be the type of people you want us to be or act like in order to be worthy of your love, be included in your family, or friendship. We got along just fine when you were no where around and let us know we were not good enough to be a part of your lives.

Now, you think you were the ones rescued her, when all you did was start digging her grave. I hate to think it was done on purpose, to hurt me since I, and my family was threatened at one point. But, I would hate to think it is really all about me and some kind of stupid retaliation just because I would not let anyone get away with their scams, lies and threats. But, yet, everyone is a puppet to the grand master and follows their directions. And since Leah has been homeless and in the worst black abyss of her life, I have to wonder, since no one is doing what they need to do in order to help her get the help she needs, then they must have voted her off the island and are probably happy that they have finally been able to cause our family the distress they have tried to do and threatened to do for so many years. But, you have only wasted your time and money because we cannot be beaten down. You may have succeeded in making Leah’s life miserable and worse off, but, we are too strong and will overcome with our unconditional love for one another and answered prayers.

Leah is lucky, whether she realizes it now or not, that she has people that love her unconditionally, who will stay by her side now and forever even though she is stuck in a huge black hole of nothingness at the moment. To all the people that continue to judge her and I, when you have NO CLUE, just keep staying the hell away. That is what you do best.

And to those that are here with me, trying so hard, including her very good friend, who is living close to her now and can reach her, may the Lord bless you as we bless you so much for doing what ever you can. Even through all the pain we all are experienced in because of her uncontrollable actions, you are still there for her, unconditionally, and educated on what we have to do to keep trying to bring her back to the real world again. This is what family is, even when you are not related.

This picture, looks exactly like Leah and the way I have seen her, her whole life as she would always get dressed up for acting or just life. This would and could be her, the star she always wanted to be, with everyone loving her because of the great things she could give them.

It could happen, if only the clueless folks would step aside, quit feeling pity and being the patsy's, then tossin her to the curb and putting her on the "do not call list" when she does the things she cannot control.

She is like that paraplegic. She will never be able to walk without medical help and treatments required in order for her to stand and walk. She will always disappoint you and do things you won't approve of until she gets help. Only the people that love her and don't enable her will be able to give her what she needs, medically, emotionally. Not the people that swoop in to try and prove how wonderful they are by giving her what she wants to a point then throw her out when they don’t receive what they expect and then get sick of it or don't want to shell out any more money, time or emotions. Too much trouble, time expense..huh?

Thank you Steph, I am so blessed to have you there with Leah, this is going to prevent us from a strike out on this one. In the meantime...Enjoy the picture of "Leah" and what it means to me as far as how beautiful and talented she is, way deep down inside. I am sure she is screaming to get out but, is unable to find the way. We will do what we can to help her, find the way, no matter how hard even if it takes forever. Yeah...a bit too much make up on the Model...but, Leah would love to do this!! So HER!

Her and her cousin…look so much a like too! But, I don’t think someone working on another person’s teeth is going to be wearing as much make up! LOL!

Everyone’s prayers for Leah would be appreciated.

1 comment:

cindy said...

Prayers are going out for Leah and I hope someday she can find her way and live a normal life. She is lucky to have a mom like you. I hope Leah will seek the treatment that she needs to have a satisfying productive life.